Hand Art

Megan finally got around to sending out some thank you notes for all her great Christmas gifts the other day. But she couldn't just scribble her name down. No, Jill had to go all artsy on us. So Megan had her hand traced for the notes, but then wanted to do it over and over and over again. Poor Jill. But I think the finished products turned out nice (blame me for not taking any 'after' pictures).

Diva in Training

At her current development stage, Megan is constantly developing her independence. She wants to do everything for herself, even if she has no clue what it entails. She'll put her own dirty diapers in the pail, pull her sippy cups off the refrigerator shelf, and even try to tie her shoes, which she woefully fails at every time. I like that she tries though. It's cute to watch her struggles.

This weekend Megan took her independence to the extreme and decided she was dressing herself. Keep in mind, it was FIVE degrees outside on Saturday. Her choice? A yellow t-shirt and a plaid skirt. I tried to get her to wear leggings underneath the skirt, but as you can see, she was having none of it. So since we were staying inside, I didn't really give a rip, so skirt it was. After she was dressed, it was her idea to add the sunglasses. Our little superstar decided those were the MUST HAVE accessory of the weekend.

On Sunday, she went with more of a Lady Gaga look. Or Casper the Friendly Ghost. Who doesn't like a nice white pantsuit-ish sort of ensemble? Of course the sunglasses were ever present.

Finally, for church Jill at least talked her into throwing a black jumper on that really brought a normalcy to the outfit. And, at the very least, another layer of warmth. Later today, Jillian was at least successful in teaching her how to wear the glasses on top of her head. Which Megan thought was HILARIOUS. It's amazing what makes her laugh sometimes. But she was a big fan. And so were we. 

D3 Hoops ... It's FANNN-tastic!

In our sleepy little area of the world there's several reasons to be excited for winter: the holiday season, cuddling on the couch, and the return of Hope College basketball. My father-in-law has had season tickets to Hope games since the late 1970s. In fact, he's been sitting next to the same couple all that time. They even had a daughter the same age as Jillian and both of them would go to Hope games sitting on their father's lap. This year, we've carried on that tradition with the next generation of the family. Secretly I think my in-laws are starting early in pushing Hope as her future college, but I just hope she likes watching sports with me from it.

(reading the scouting report ... good job Megan!)

When we moved here last year during the middle of the season, Jillian's mom GLADLY willed her seat to me and I became indoctrinated into the tradition. Despite now living a half hour away, this season I've commuted in to the games, and it's been great to have something to look forward to during the week.

Now, at my alma mater, the men's basketball games averaged a couple of hundred people max. But at Hope, because of the large area alumni, they have led Division III schools in basketball attendance over the past several years, with roughly 1500 showing up for games. With that type of crowd, it's easy to get caught up in the emotion.

(One of her rare moments of enthrallment with the actual game)

These pictures with Megan are actually capturing her THIRD game of the season. The first time, Carey and I brought her to a Saturday afternoon game they were celebrating the mascot's birthday, so there were 12 mascots all over the arena. If you could choose a game for a little kid to have as their first experience, this was a great choice. Of course she was more concerned with "Homer" from Home Depot and Chuck E. Cheese than she was with the nuances of the pick-and-roll, but she's young.

I'm not sure if she's a true fan yet, but this was the third Saturday in a row she went to a game. I'd like to believe its the camaraderie with her dad or the exuberance of the crowd, but I'm guessing it's probably the popcorn and M&Ms we share with her that does it.

Hey, I never said I wasn't above bribery to get her into liking sports.

Night at the Museum

Tonight I surprised Megan and picked her up slightly earlier than normal after work today and took her to the Children's Museum here in town. They had a deal on Thursday nights with $1.50 admission and Jillian was out of town for work so we made a nice father/daughter date out of it.

I was worried that because of the late time she would melt down after a little while, but for a $1.50 I figured that was worth it. Close to two hours later she was still running around, wide-eyed with wonder at the new environment she was introduced to. I spent most of the time actually playing with her but I did take a few snap shots of our experience. After seeing them, I'm sure you'll wish you could go with us on our next trip. (Personally my favorite is the one that shows our future veterinarian checking the dog's heart.)

2009 ... a father's tale

As the last few days of 2009 dissipated into the ether, I was again fortunate enough to spend that time, much as I did last year, on a beach in Florida. The beach is a siren song for me, forcing me to relax, breathe a little deeper, walk a little straighter, and stare inward and reflect. My yearning to write intensifies. The beach is where I doodled thoughts, dreams, and ideas as a lost and struggling high schooler trying to define himself, and it's where I crafted a love poem, a first for my then girlfriend, now wife, who was many miles away. Heck, the beach is where I first MET Jillian.

I'm sure many of you have a place like that; a cathartic escape from the stresses of what burdens you. Last year closed with me forced to deal with the trials and tribulations of being a father for the first time and the life complications that come with it. At that time, ten months in, I was flummoxed at what it meant to be a father and a husband as this new life shift started to happen. This year, again I was called to the beach, but I wasn't alone anymore. Megan, now fully mobile, became privy to my hallowed turf.

A year and ten months has made me no less an expert on fatherhood, but the passage of time has allowed me to feel more comfortable in this new found role. Part of that comfort is my daughter's ability to understand basic communication. It was a watershed moment. For someone who my wife says refuses to shut up, not conversing with Megan was difficult. To have this person I'm 100% responsible for, and who I am beyond excited to talk to, share stories with, and teach lessons to, it was agonizing to be kept from that role.

And even though she's only started talking, I can't help but think how she has grown up so fast in just this past year. Looking at the pictures on the blog from a few weeks ago, I noticed she started the year as a baby, and now, she has surpassed any milestones I might have imposed on her.

Recently she entered into this 'shy stage.' I think she's becoming more aware of her surroundings and more scared and unsure of what a lot of it represents. Because of that she is extremely clingy in new situations and around new people. It's completely understandable. I tell her it's okay, the 'big' things around her won't hurt her, I promise. But she's not easily swayed and continues to hunker farther into my pant leg. It's these moments I cherish. Outwardly I'm telling her to be brave, soak in the experience, but inwardly I melt at the chance to continue to be her foundation.

Life has definitely become simpler, my world is 'dumbed down' because of her. In the past few months I've had several tea parties, 'danced' like a drunken fool, played the role of horsey, created make believe stories involving her 'little people' sets, and basically played the role of a clown. But because of that I feel like I've become much more cognizant of how rewarding play can be, that moving away from the television set is not a detriment, and that just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I can't still be creative.

Do I wish she didn't shout "DADDY" incessantly over and over ... and over again? Sure. Do I wish she wasn't going through this volatile stage of hoarding her possessions? Sure. But those memories somehow  become short lived, faint wisps of fogginess of a world ago.

I can't imagine not being that safe haven for her. Ever.

My parents divorced when I was just four years old, and when I left living with my dad after the eighth grade for the stability of my mom's house, it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I think he saw it as my giving up on him. It wasn't. Our communication faded to about three phone calls a year, all initiated by me. One of the last times I talked to him was stopping to visit him in Texas during my freshman year of college for Spring Break. He was helping pay for the trip, which ironically, was to the beach where I would first meet Jillian. As a teenager I could barely grasp his rationale for not wanting to be a bigger part of my life, but as a thirty-two-year-old adult, and now parent myself, it makes even less sense. There is no way I could ever live a life without a relationship with my daughter. Over time I've come to terms that despite sharing numerous physical features, the character traits we are driven by separate us.

So as I continually prepare mentally to be a father for Megan's different life stages I have to revert to other male figures in my life who helped shape and provide meaning into what it means to be a father. I am continually grateful for my stepfather Steve, my brother Kenny, and my father-in-law Carey, for their influence in molding me through their actions and their words. They have had a hand in raising me through the various stages of my development when I needed it and which I rely on incessantly as I try to be a father to Megan.

So my New Year's resolution this year as a father is to be as gentle as my stepfather, as protective as my older brother, and as genuine as my father-in-law. If I can measure up to those traits, being a father to Megan in 2010 will be child's play.

Exactly how I want it.

A Florida Respite

I have a more extensive blog post coming about fatherhood and a 2009 wrap-up in general that I'm working on, so in the meantime I thought you might appreciate a pictorial of our week spent in Florida this holiday season.

Jillian's sister was nice enough to get Megan her own tiara, wand, and fake earrings.

The paparazzi caught her in a wardrobe malfunction moment.

Enjoying the sunset on the beach

Splash time with dad

At a local playground enjoying the swings ... and the hippopotamus?

That's a big tree!

Relaxing on the beach ... and testing the water temperature. She thought it was a touch too cold.

The Other 'New' Kitchen

Many of you saw Megan's new kitchen for Christmas. Starting before we left for Florida (story ... and pics to come) and up until about an hour ago we've been doing some moderate remodeling/updating of our kitchen too. I've been documenting it but wanted to wait until we actually finished this thing before sending it out to the blogosphere.

First .... here's a 'before' pic. Notice those three cabinets? We did, because we kept hitting our heads on it (well, I did ... Jillian's a little shorter). AND more importantly it blocked our view, closed the kitchen off, and just made it feel smaller. Also see that brown and white stripe wallpaper? That too is about to be obliterated.

Okay. So first step ... demolition. This was on December 19th. We stripped the wallpaper, ripped down the bulkhead and cabinets, and a huge strip of drywall and plaster along the wall.

Megan still wanted to be a part of the action so she put on her work gloves, grabbed her toy broom and went to work picking up trash. Meanwhile Sue, in an effort to get the walls as clean as possible was busy sanding, patching, and washing down all the walls with vinegar. That mixed with the plaster dust made a great concoction. The plaster dust was EVERYWHERE. We put up sheets leading into other rooms but it didn't matter.

Carey being a stud and driving screws into the new drywall. Then, because we wanted to place our microwave on the wall, so we could use the counter space elsewhere we had to do some minor rewiring. Throughout all of the projects Megan was constantly underfoot and loved just standing there watching everything. Once we finished up the electrical work, we put in some insulation and finished the day by closing up the hole with drywall.

The next day was a relatively minor day. We patched the wall and ceiling and started adding some bead board trim around the counter areas to 'class it up a bit.' Eventually we want to do a white subway tile but this fit our budget for now.

December 21st ... while I was down in the basement putting Megan's kitchen together, Sue was busy painting the walls of our kitchen. The color we chose is a light gray. The pictures may be tough to fully capture it but I think it looks fabulous.

December 22nd. We mounted one of the cabinets on the side wall and added trim pieces around the bead board.

It's at this point in the proceedings that we took some time off for Christmas and to head down to Florida for the week. We got 'back to work' last night determined to finish the project this weekend. We spent a few hours painting the trim pieces and the bead board, and mounting the brackets that were going to hold the shelf for our microwave. Finally, we sanded, chipped, and spackled some spots on the ceiling that were in bad shape so it could dry before we painted it today.

... and finally we arrived at today. The final day. There were lots of things to do. Jillian's mom acted as 'project manager', had a list and made sure we all got our jobs done. Here's a laundry list of the things we did today: hung blinds in 3 windows in the family room (side project), placed threshold strips at four door openings, replaced a register cover, attached the shelf to the brackets for the microwave, changed up the cord to the microwave so it was more flush to the wall, painted the ceiling, created a fabric-covered bulletin board for the hallway leading into the kitchen, cut a carpet square to fit the area for wet shoes coming in from the garage, and finally, cleaned up all of our mess we made throughout the day. BUT when it was all done (small addendum ... we hope to add bookshelves on one wall so we're not technically done yet but that will be for another time), we think it looks great. And now the final reveal ...

Many thanks to the EXTENSIVE hours put in by Carey, Sue, and Jillian throughout the course of this project. With the exception of painting the ceiling and hanging the blinds in the living room today my only job throughout this project was as photographer. There's no way our kitchen would've come out looking this good if I was more actively involved so I was more than happy to pick up dinner on several occasions and keep the fridge stocked with diet cokes.

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Twelve

December 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Eleven

November 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Ten

October 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Nine

September 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Eight

August 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Seven

July 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Six

June 2009

Twelve Days of Megan - Day Five

May 2009