Friday, June 17, 2011

Fatherhood: Part Two


Colin Brady Parsons. My son.

Just typing those words shoots a bolt of endorphins through my fingers as I think about the whirlwind of today and the fact that Jillian gave birth to our second child early this morning.

To some of you in the blogosphere I have to apologize for burying the lead and refusing to mention that Jillian was even pregnant. I wanted the timing to be right, procrastinated, and decided it was pointless to say something at 7 months. Might as well just wait until Colin was here.

He was born at 7:57 am and we have spent the rest of today just marveling at all of his details. 

  • The white cream on his skin at birth fascinated me and I learned this stuff, vernix, was his 'lotion' to protect him while he was in utero. 
  • I was nervous when I cut his umbilical cord. Asking me to use scissors at that moment was akin to asking LeBron James to make a basket in the fourth quarter.
  • I was embarrassed at my incompetence in swaddling. I used to be a pro.
  • I analyzed his facial features and marveled at how similar he looked to Megan when she was born.
  • I giggled at his baby farts as he passed gas from eating and how he intuitively seemed to lift his left leg up slightly.
  • I cringed when changing his dirty diaper and I had to touch his ball sac to clean underneath it.

But I rocked at holding him. Unfortunately for Jillian, she had the pain of carrying him for the past 37 weeks and while she recuperated ... I nuzzled, poked, kissed, and canoodled with him.

And it made me. Colin's presence in my life is an indescribably joy. My expectations with this delivery couldn't have been any lower. I think my biggest contribution was dragging the baby swing and car seats from the basement storage earlier this week. This is in stark contrast to the weeks leading up to Megan's birth when I was devouring every book about parenting. I figured I could just wing it with this little guy.

That may seem idiotic but I think the lack of expectation allowed me to experience Colin's birth 'in the moment.' I wasn't worried about a checklist I read about or a tip on how to capture the perfect picture pose. 

I was just present. And it was powerful.

With Megan, the unexpectedness of her arrival and immediate whisking away to the NICU unit because she was born 6 weeks early, as well as complications with the delivery for Jillian kept me from focusing on my feelings. Plus I was a first-time dad. I was an idiot. This time I was better prepared.

Let me clarify ... I was better prepared for the delivery. Now with that part over I am completely terrified of what to do next. Just like I'm completely terrified about what the lasting implications will be on my daughter from Jillian deciding to paint her nails last weekend as a treat. 

But those stories are for another day and another time. 

Because today, I held my son, Colin Brady, in my arms for the first time. 

And it was perfect.

5 comments:

Gram said...

Perfect entry! We can't wait to meet Colin Brady one day soon. Congrats to you, Jillian and Megan on your new addition.

The Cook Family said...

Congrats to you, Jillian, and Megan! Somehow bringing #2 into the world seems a bit easier, but so special at the same time! Glad you got a little boy, and I had to laugh out loud at your last bullet point. Welcome back to the blog world...don't be a stranger!!!

Courtney said...

yay yay yay yay! (that's one for everyone in your family...) Enjoy the beginning of your brand new lives!

Christina said...

Yay! Finally a post and love it! Congratulations to you, Jillian and Megan! Colin is just adorable and a great addition to your family. I just cannot wait to meet my new nephew! Maybe at the end of summer...we'll see. So in the meantime, I wanna see new pics and vids everyday on the blog! lol yeah, yeah, alot to ask for but no 2 month delays, okay? Enjoy these moments. Hurry up, this auntie needs her pic/vid fix! haha

Erin Carovillano said...

I can't believe that you kept it a secret until he arrived but I am sooooo happy that he came into the world so much easier than his big sister! Congrats to the three of you on this awesome addition!!! I wish you the best!!! He's adorable!