The Rehearsal

Just over a month ago we went to the wedding of Jillian's cousin near Chicago. I have some great shots from the wedding that I hope to share with you soon, but this particular image stood out. This was taken the day before the wedding at the rehearsal where Megan decided she was going to carry the rehearsal bouquet into the building.

I think she looks absolutely adorable. This was a task that allowed her to be 'involved' so I know it made her happy. I can see a skip in her step and I can just envision the smile on her face, despite not being able to see it.  With her mom's help and guidance, I see a young lady who is headed down the right path to understanding who she is.

But I also see the sadness of a time when she will no longer be my little girl. When someone else will take center stage in her life. My friends, the Bowdens (check out their blog in my friends section), gave me a book at the end of my last visit with them entitled, "What A Difference a Daddy Makes," and it's specifically about the relationship between a father and daughter by psychologist Kevin Leman. There are lots of good tidbits to be gleaned from reading it, but the part that had me a bit teary was his description of what it felt like for him leading up to the wedding of his daughter. I cried at the thought.

I mean is there anything that tells you what an emotional wreck this girl makes me, when she's not even three yet and I'm already crying about her potential wedding that is hopefully some twenty years in the future? But what moments like this, and books like the one I mentioned above, also help me do is place my wife in perspective too. The love I feel for Megan is the same love I'm sure Carey feels for Jillian and it recommits me to wanting not only to be the best father I can be, but to be the best husband I can be, to affirm to Jillian that she is special and wonderful too. And trust me, before you start saying 'awwww', trust me, there are PLENTY of times when I could've done better.

So when I look at this picture ... I guess I see hope. Hope that I will have the strength to slowly pull away from controlling my daughter too much as she ages and prepares for a life where my role is minimized. And hope that I will continue to strengthen my relationship with Jillian, because she too is worth it.